The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
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