ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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