i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize