dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
