Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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