Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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