Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
