i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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