I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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