You were right. It hurts to walk today.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
