i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
