just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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