i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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