what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
