that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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