yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
too bad you live with your parents still
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
