You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm passing your future prison.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
