I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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