How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
