another moral hangover. fuck.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
