DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
