watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize