i just wanna soil my oats bro
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
