Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
