Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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