The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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