She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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