lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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