i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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