My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
