Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize