Yo dont text me then not text me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
