I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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