Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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