walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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