please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
