the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
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