lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
