Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
