Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
