At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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