I hate all girls vehemently.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
