Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
