are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
