I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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