hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
