WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
