Just fell off a train. Bad.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I think I am morally bankrupt
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
