I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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