Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
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I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
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I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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