What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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