yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
