I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
