i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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