it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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