You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
