Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
