im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
