Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
