last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
