You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
