Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
