we're blogging at a bar
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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