Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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